You know when you find yourself in that mental battle of ‘should I perform the ritual or shouldn’t I?’ and you go backwards and forwards trying to work out whether you should give in or resist and keep fighting, weighing up the consequences of what feels like the biggest decision ever. It can be the most frustrating thing trying to work out which road to go down, do you go for what feels like the easiest and safest option – to perform a ritual, or do you take the harder but better in the long run option – to not perform the ritual, whatever your OCD involves I think we all have been faced with this exhausting mental battle at some point. From my experience in this situation I often know deep down its OCD and need to fight it or I’m only feeding my OCD, but there’s that doubt ‘What if it’s not OCD this time?’ which I now know to recognise, that doubt of ‘is this OCD or not?’ IS OCD trying to trick you.
A really effective question to ask yourself when your caught in that mental argument is ‘What would I do if I didn’t have OCD?’ if its OCD the answer will be ‘Not this’ you would not be performing safety rituals if you didn’t have OCD, so now you know its OCD you know you need to not give in. It always helps me fight through the feelings and thoughts that come with OCD, as the question ‘What if it’s not OCD this time?’ is now invalid, because if I didn’t have OCD there’s no way I would be avoiding situations, asking for reassurance or performing ANY ritual. I think once you’ve accepted OCD is trying to trick you and will try to make you believe your rituals are necessary, it makes not performing rituals a little less frightening. Of course the doubts will come flooding in, and OCD will shout louder than ever ‘What if your wrong, what if it’s not OCD’ but that is OCD speaking again, ask yourself again, ‘What would I do if I didn’t have OCD?’ and do whatever it is you would do if you didn’t. Try to do the opposite of what you feel like you need to do right now, because YOU make the rules, not OCD, and if you want to get better and be like someone without OCD you have to do what you would do if you didn’t have it. You can apply this whether you have OCD or not, just change the question to fit your situation for example ‘What would I do if I wasn’t scared?’ or ‘What would I do if I could NEVER fail?’.
Stay Strong and DO NOT give up, you can do it, OCD cannot win, it doesn’t deserve to ♥