How To Be A Good Friend To Someone Suffering With Mental Illness

 

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As someone who has suffered with Depression, Anxiety and OCD, I feel like I can safely say this has led to some detachment, from my friends over the years. Especially when things were really tough for me. Getting ready to go out whilst suffering with depression, and feeling as if I had no energy for the smallest of things. Pair that with the added struggle of it taking me hours to get ready due to my OCD, it was just all too much. Too much to do the normal things and also too much to do the fun things, for example go out with friends like a normal teenager/ young adult would have. So what did I do? I just stopped. I stopped saying yes to things and I detached myself from people. Unfortunately at the age I was I felt not many people understood what I was going through, but that feeling is something everyone going through a hard time can experience at any age.

Can I really blame people for giving up on me when I’d said no to going out again and AGAIN. I understand how frustrating it must feel to constantly be trying with someone who doesn’t seem to want to do anything especially if they don’t explain and you don’t understand. At the same time that person needs someone more than ever even if they push you away and only want you from a far. So I thought I would try to write a list of a few things, that I think are good ideas to help you feel as if you are being a good friend to someone you may know is struggling.  You can feel so useless when its a matter of the mind, no plaster, tablet or trip to the doctors is going to fix it. That doesn’t mean there aren’t things that can be done to make that person feel loved and supported, it’s just a little trickier. This can also relate to family and partners to.

 ♥ Talk to them. Let them know that you are always there to talk to and you’re not just saying it. Check in on them if you’ve not heard from them or they’ve gone quiet and you know they’re going through some stuff. This will let them know that there not a burden and you really do care and want to listen. It sounds obvious but sometimes they won’t come to you, from fear that you won’t understand or you’ll be dragged down with their problems.

♥  Invite them places but don’t be too pushy. Don’t just give up on them after they’ve said no. Try to understand where they’re coming from, and even ask whats making them not want to go out. Ask if there is anything that they would be comfortable doing if it’s not the thing you’ve suggested. I know it may feel pointless but still inviting them out even if you are expecting a no shows you’re still here when they’re ready. Perhaps they don’t want to go to that party or group event but would prefer a smaller social setting with just you and them. Keep trying but give them space too, find the balance of caring but not making them feel forced.

 ♥  So they don’t want to go out? Suggest a cosy night in, in your favourite comfies with films, face masks and comfort food. That kind of evening doesn’t require much energy or preparation and is the perfect time for you both to vent to each other and have a laugh.

♥  Confide in them about your own personal struggles if you have any that relate. Just hearing someone around you has had similar struggles, thoughts and feelings can be such a comfort when you feel alone.

♥  Talk to them about getting help if they aren’t. If you think your friend is suffering with a mental health problem, and they’re not talking to anyone about it or receiving help, you should encourage them to. If you also think that person is in danger of hurting themselves or isn’t able to see they need it desperately, it’s best to confide in someone close to them like a parent or teacher.

♥  Let them know you’re thinking of them by popping round their house spontaneously, you could even take some flowers as a little pick me up. A lovely thing I recently came across is something called a buddy box, you can send them to someone who’s going through a rough time or even buy them for yourself. There full of little cute and comforting things, which they call a hug in a box. You can find out more about that here (https://www.blurtitout.org/). Sometimes when your feeling low and happiness seems a distant memory a little thing like that can mean so much. Even if it’s just for a moment, they will feel so grateful and happy to have you in their life.

♥  Send them a positive quote, I love a good quote and they’re everywhere on the internet. It sounds cheesy I know, but I could really relate to some of them when I was struggling. It can help you see things in a positive light for a change and give someone a different way of thinking about their situation.

At the end of the day you aren’t that persons carer and they don’t expect you to dedicate all your time and self to making them better. Only they can do that. I think some of these are a lovely way to make a gesture to show your there for them in that time of need.

 Keep smiling,

Anna

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Decorating My Room | Ideas & Plans

In November me and my family moved from our house we’d been in for almost 7 years! The new house is somewhat old-fashioned when it comes to the decorating which means everything’s going to be decorated to our tastes. For someone like me who loves browsing home ware shops and buying home ware items this is prime opportunity for me to do both those things. My room as it is, isn’t to bad it has quaint floral wallpaper and fairly neutral paint and carpet.

I cannot wait to get fully stuck in and decorate my room with my taste in decor. I’d say my taste is a mixture of kitsch, anything cute, quirky or involving woodland animals. I also love the retro come modern look, with a hint of Scandinavian. I love scouring magazines and the internet for inspiration and home ware items, so I thought why not share my plans for my bedroom with you. Then when it’s all decorated show a before and after! Some of the products featured in this post I have already purchased ready for when my rooms decorated, others are things I would like to purchase and possibly add into my room, along with many other beautiful things I’ve found.

Bedroom blog post

As you can see the colours I want to incorporate into my room are white, a mustardy, greeny yellow, light grey and dark grey. I’ve been seeing this yellow colour everywhere at the moment and I love how it looks, I think its perfect for a retro and Scandinavian room. It’s something quite different for me, as I’ve always gone for classic girly colours like pinks, purples as an accent colour in my rooms, but my style has changed a lot as I’ve gotten older.

I won’t be painting any walls in this shade instead I want to bring it in with accessories. I bought this gorgeous duvet set which you can see in the picture above or below. Its two-sided so you can mix it up and has  multiple patterns on it such scalloped lines and tiny flowers on it with all the colours I like, its perfect. I received  the panda cushion above for Christmas and I can’t wait to put it on my bed, not only is it cute, its quirky and his yellow bow tie goes perfect. I love the lampshade above it has a cut out pattern and copper on the inside. Copper is a big trend when it comes to home ware at the moment, and I’m a little obsessed. The bedside table above is simple and practical. Its got wire tidies up the legs of it, a shelf inside and its narrow which saves space!

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I have bought two of these tri pod style lamps for my bedside tables, I love this style of lamp at the moment and the colour is again perfect.

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Bedding
Panda Cushion
Lampshade
Bedside Table
Chest Of Draws
Tripod Lamp

Becuase my room is bigger than my old one, I’ve finally been able to have a dressing table. I wanted a retro one and was lucky my Nan no longer wanted her retro G-Plan one. I love the style and I’m planning on painting it white or light grey with darker grey drawes and changing the handles, I’ve been eyeing up some of the copper ones on Anthropologie.

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Bedroom blog post

 I want to create a wall of quirky prints and different shape and style photo frames like the copper ones above. Which leads me on to the fox and alpaca prints above, I find them way too amusing and really like the look of them, I also received these for Christmas. The next two items are the Peg Boards, I love the concept of these but can’t decide between the yellow or white, there just a board with holes for little wooden peg like things, you put into the holes to hang things off. I want to hang this by my dressing table and hang all my necklaces and bits on there.

Another item which I think would look lovely on my dressing table is the copper tray with perfumes displayed on there. As I’ve said I’m rather fond of quirky things, which is probably why I like this succulent pineapple plant pot, I think its different and a great way to display a succulent. I would love to have some shelves where I can put this sort of thing on display, along with things like the Copper A, or candles in the white candle holders above, along with all my other decorative accessories.

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Photo Frames
Copper A
Candle Holders
Copper Tray
Fox Print
Alpaca Print
Peg Board Yellow
Peg Board White
Pineapple Plant Pot

I could go on forever adding things I am thinking of buying but I didn’t want to bore you or make this post too long. There so much I want to buy and do to my room and really create a space I love.

What do you think of my bedroom ideas? Let me know in the comments!

Anna