“AND IF YOUR DAUGHTER CAME TO YOU, CRYING WITH HUNGER, WOULD YOU TELL HER NO? WOULD YOU TELL HER SHE IS TOO FAT, SHE WANTS TO MUCH, SHE MUST SHRINK INTO SOCIETY? NO. THEN WHY WOULD YOU TELL YOURSELF THE EXACT SAME THING? YOU ARE SOMEBODY’S DAUGHTER.”
I came across this quote on Tumblr and it really inspired me. I just want to say you can easily change ‘daughter’ to ‘son’ if you’re not a female of course! This quote is close to my heart as I have struggled with my weight and body image since suffering with depression and eating my feelings. I feel contradictory writing about accepting your appearance as I have yet to accept mine and I am currently trying to lose weight after losing 3 stone on Weight Watchers and falling of the bandwagon for some months now. Not only because I will be more happy with myself but also to be healthy, how I feel about my body is stopping me from doing things I want to in life. I can’t lie though I do care what other people think, but I don’t think the way we talk about ourselves and make ourselves feel is ok. Telling yourself your fat, ugly, no one will love you etc is only going to make you feel worse and ultimately where is the self hate going to get you? will it make you prettier or thinner? or will it make you depressed and un confident? If you want to lose a bit of weight to be more healthy and comfortable in your own skin, then that’s great but if you we’re happy with the way you we’re until someone made you feel like your body wasn’t ok, then that’s not ok, if your happy and healthy that’s all that matters.
Being self-conscious doesn’t mean we have to be nasty to ourselves, do we really deserve constant insults? no, we need to start being kinder to ourselves. You wouldn’t say to a family member or friend ‘ew your so fat, you look gross’ so why say it to yourself, you have feelings to don’t you? If being slightly over weight or bigger than society deems as ‘sexy’ is the worst thing people have to criticise you for, then you must be a pretty amazing human being inside. I would rather be overweight and able to change that problem if I wanted, than be a judgemental person who’s ugly on the inside, that’s a lot harder to change. Don’t abuse yourself with unkind words you wouldn’t use on someone else. If someone has a problem with the way you look that’s their problem not yours. Often we can see the beauty in other people, rather than ourselves,which means people see the beauty in us even if we don’t! I wish I had some words of wisdom on how to love yourself truly but I don’t, all I know is self hate will not change how you look, it just changes how you feel, and it’s not going to be in a good way. When we are happy and kind to ourselves that’s when we are able to motivate ourselves to change if that’s what we want, but calling ourselves nasty names along the way, will only make us more negative and less motivated.
So it’s the 14th of February and we all know what that means VALENTINES DAY. Love it or hate, it’s here, so why not embrace it, I see so many single people including myself talking about how their going to be lonely this valentines day or that no one loves them etc. Well I am here to tell you, just because you don’t have a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, does not mean you cannot get in the spirit of valentines day and spread some love, that’s what it’s about really, is showing someone you love them and making a big deal of it for this particular day.
I used to think Valentines Day should only be for couples but why not wish your mum, dad, brother, sister, best friend whoever it is you love and couldn’t be without, tell them ‘ I just wanted to say Happy Valentines day, because I love you and you mean a lot to me!’ cheesy I know, but why not. You could go one step further and bake or buy some cute cupcakes and give one to everyone close to you, including yourself of course, or buy them chocolates or buy some flowers, or get you and your best single girls together and go out for a meal, or have a pamper evening, with some wine and chocolate. Valentines Day doesn’t have to be lonely or spent with a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife etc, there are so many people around us that love us and that’s all Valentines Day is, showing someone special and close to you that you love them, not only on valentine’s day but every other day of the year too, P.S don’t forget to love yourself too!
So to all my lovely blog followers and readers, Happy Valentines Day ♥ this blog would be nothing without all of you guys support which is why I love you all!
When you suffer with depression and you lose interest in everything you once we’re interested in and even lose interest in living your life it can be a tough thing to go through, not only have you got all those negative emotions and feelings going on, you also tend to develop A LOT of negative feelings and thoughts towards yourself. It can make you feel as if you just a ‘weak’ person for not getting up and getting on with life because you see people get upset and just pick themselves up you feel as if you should be able too. But that’s the problem with depression, it’s a chemical imbalance within your brain that you have no control over, it is not a flaw in your personality and it definitely doesn’t mean your weak. If anything it makes you strong for never giving up on your life, when you felt like you wanted to the most.
I think depression knocks a lot of confidence depression out of people, i know it did with me, I used to have questions and negative thoughts running through my head all the time ‘Why can’t I be like everyone else?’ ‘Maybe I’m just lazy’ ‘I know this is upsetting my family, so why can’t I just get on with it, I’m so selfish’. You feel as if you’re a burden on everyone and that your such a let down because you can’t hold down a job or can’t cope with getting up and having a shower or you feel like you can’t get out of bed and face the day etc, it makes you feel stupid and pathetic.
I think an important thing to remember when you or someone else is going through depression that it is NOT a choice and it is not a flaw in you or your personality, it is purely a chemical imbalance of hormones and emotions in your brain. Below is a brain scan comparing difference between someone’s brain suffering with depression and without, still think depression is a choice or a flaw in you or someone around you and not a chemical imbalance with hormones in the brain?
It’s important you don’t blame yourself for something that’s not your fault and don’t label yourself with negative labels about you and your personality ‘weak’ ‘pathetic’ ‘burden’ ‘useless’ ‘stupid’ ‘lazy’ none of these hateful names are going to make your depression go away, it will only take you down a more negative road. You have to seek help, talk to someone and seek help, there’s therapy’s, books, medication and ways of treating depression, it’s not easy but you cannot deal with this on your own, you need love and support around you. Always remember ‘Depression is a flaw in chemistry not character’.
Stay strong, your strong and beautiful, no matter what you think ♥
There is something about having flowers in my room or around my house that is really uplifting and makes me happy, It’s probably a girl thing, so sorry boys this one might not be very relevant to you. So I bought me and my mum a bunch of daffodils each for £1 in Tesco the other day (bargain) and there is something about flowers that lift your mood, even if it’s just for a second when you notice them, but there pretty, they smell nice and they come in so many variety and colours. They just remind me of happiness and summer, and I normally hate buying flowers that are just buds and haven’t flowered yet because I’m impatient and wanted them to look nice, but it’s actually a good thing, its nice waking up each day and noticing more and more flowers appear from the buds that were there before. Also with all the grey cold weather about at the moment and everyone missing summer, flowers remind me off summer so its like having a little bit of spring and summer around the house, even though its icky weather outside.
My Mums Daffodils
So your probably thinking why are you telling me about your love for flowers? well I think you should treat yourself, don’t wait for your boyfriend, husband or a special occasion to be bought flowers, go by some for yourself, because you deserve to treat yourself and love yourself. If you don’t want to buy flowers for yourself, buy them for your Mum, Sister, Girlfriend, Nan, Aunty or whoever that important female in your life may be (or male), surprise them, show them you care and your thankful for everything they always do. I think we always wait for a special occasion or moment to buy someone flowers or a little present, but I think a random cute surprises are the best, when you’re not expecting something, it really makes you feel special that they thought of you. Not only will they enjoy seeing pretty flowers, they will think of you and what you done for them every time they look at them and feel happy.
So this post isn’t about buying things you can’t afford and getting in to debt because life is short, it’s about treating yourself. These days we all work so hard for our money yet we feel guilty when we spend some money on ourselves unless its something we feel like we really need which is practical. I’m not suggesting for one second you should buy whatever you want whenever you want, but I think its important to treat yourself sometimes, for no reason. Why shouldn’t you buy those shoes, or why shouldn’t you buy that top, handbag, make-up or whatever it is you’ve been eyeing up. Of course its normal to feel slightly guilty about spending a lot of money, but what is the point in working so hard for money if you can’t even buy yourself something nice with.
Be sensible with your money but remember if you’ve got some spare cash and you want to treat yourself, do it. Whether it’s getting your hair done, your nails done or having a massage, I don’t know whatever it is, you deserve a treat. It doesn’t have to cost money, just taking some time out to do something for yourself, such as a bath with candles or relaxing in front of the TV with a film or reading a book you like. We forget to look after ourselves and I believe it’s the simple things in life that can lift our moods. I think we’re so busy worrying about everyone and everything around us we forget about making ourselves happy, so treat yourself, and don’t let anyone make you feel bad.