Letting Go Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Care

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Something I’ve struggled with for a long time now and still do is letting go of scary OCD thoughts. I feel like if I just let go of OCD thoughts or rituals where I worry something bad could happen, it must mean I don’t care about the consequences or if I can let them go easily it must also mean I don’t care. I am starting to accept and learn that this is not the case and you have to give yourself permission to let go of things, it doesn’t mean you don’t care. Easier said than done right?  When your emotions are telling you letting go of certain thoughts and worries is bad and if you let go you’re a terrible person it’s really hard not to listen. I know OCD will try to do anything to try to keep me sucked in by it, because that’s what OCD does it wants to control people. Which is exactly what it’s doing by making me think if I let go and don’t perform a ritual that I don’t care and also that something bad might happen.

The reality is as soon as you get that thought ‘If you don’t do such and such something bad could happen’ and you then feel anxious or worry about not performing the ritual, that is the sign you do care. The fact you’re worried about letting go of that OCD thought or ritual, means you care if you didn’t you wouldn’t be thinking about it or worrying about it. You don’t need to carry on thinking about the subject or perform a ritual to know you care. You need to allow yourself to let go and become free because you deserve it. You can acknowledge the fact you’re feeling anxious about not performing a ritual or feeling anxious about not trying to work out what that bad thought you just had meant about you and accept that is you caring.  You don’t need to torture yourself any more than that, you’re  allowed to move on, you just need to let yourself.  Thinking about things more and more or performing rituals is keeping you stuck in the place you are right now, stuck being controlled by a pest called OCD in your head. One of the steps to freedom is to know if you’re worried or upset about letting go you care, but you don’t need to hold on to things or perform rituals. Allow yourself to fear letting go and allow yourself to recognise you care. Then let go because you don’t need to be afraid you don’t care because you have proved to yourself  you do.

Stay Strong,

Anna

OCD: Brains Are Like Sponges

stupid brain

Through our lives we watch, read and see things and without even trying to are brains take all this information in. They are like sponges that soak up everything around you whether you want it to or not. Our brains then send us all sorts of weird and wonderful thoughts and images and for people with OCD these intrusive thoughts are very bothersome and anxiety provoking. Our brains send us thousands of thoughts everyday, which is fine until you start noticing and attaching a meaning to these thoughts. Something I’ve struggled with my OCD is distinguishing which are intrusive thoughts or weird random thoughts our brain thinks when it goes off in a tangent and which are ME. Which are my real thoughts and beliefs and which are my sponge like brain and creative brain thoughts.

People with OCD tend to get these thoughts mixed up with themselves. Although these thoughts are, our own, it does not mean because we think certain things that its fact. It does not mean if you randomly have a thought of say ‘cheating on your partner’ that’s what you really want to do. Our brains are curious and creative. Our brains like to create weird and crazy made up storeys. You know when you get a weird thought and you suddenly think ‘What was that? that’s so weird’ or ‘That’s so wrong, why did I think that?’ that is your true self speaking, the thought you found weird was just the brain being creative.

This has really helped me try to recognise my real identity and not lump myself with every thought I have. I now notice the thought after the anxiety provoking thought as the real me. Your true self is the person that notices and recognises these automatic thoughts. Don’t take random thoughts seriously, laugh at them and realise our brains are creative and can make us think weird, wonderful and scary things. I can feel my OCD doubts popping into my head as I write this ‘Is this true?’ ‘What if its not and all my thoughts are what I believe and like to think about?’ but hey this is what I’ve learnt and although I struggle to trust what I’ve been taught, OCD will make you doubt so if I am doubting I must label it OCD.

Where I got private treatment and learnt about OCD:

http://ocdtreatmentcentre.com/

Stay Strong,

Anna